sometimes i get sad
i want really bougie things
i really want a nice house with a big kitchen and pretty bathroom and a partner and maybe a couple kids and to grow old comfortably and safely and securely
but I’m not sure i can finish my degree right now, and I’m in 50k$ debt. i have major clinical depression. i should be seeing a therapist weekly. i need to find a psychiatrist and hop back on the meds train and see if i have other medical issues, like thyroid troubles, that are getting in the way. i also experience back pain, and if i am to take on a very physical job — baking — my body will not respond well, especially not without physical therapy. it stacks and stacks and stacks.
there’s rent due and bills and loan repayments. i don’t know.